He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize