im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
