singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I want a musical about memes.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
