So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Welp...herpes.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
