you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Randomize
