You work out of a Hotel?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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