i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
