He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
