What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
