I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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