We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Randomize
