just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
