tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
