you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
