Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
