better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
is wine microwaveable?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
