Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
