what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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