Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
