My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
