is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
