Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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