took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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