would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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