Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
