Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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