ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
