Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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