He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ ðŸ‘ðŸ¼
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
