On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize