I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
