if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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