But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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