she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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