Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
