I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
being pregnant is like rehab
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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