and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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