just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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