I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize