Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
