evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She's the barista slut.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
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