I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
