Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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