So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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