This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
