I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize