Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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