The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
