Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
