what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
