This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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