He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
