my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
