No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
