If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
