return my video game
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
