im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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