Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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