She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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