After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
