so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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