8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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