At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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