Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
