pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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