would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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