I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
