i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
