I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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