Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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