i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
