Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
A bitchslap is in order.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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