He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
