I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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