fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
