Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
