I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
