Someone shit on the floor
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize