His hands were made for my vagina.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
