How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize