Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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