His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize